~A Princess Tale~

Once upon a time there was a princess named Aria who lived in a tree because she was afraid of castles. What kind of princess is afraid of castles you might ask? To you I would say, do not interrupt the story! For many moons she was trapped atop this ancient tree, for her fear of splinters kept her from climbing down. Again you might feel the need to interrupt and ask how she got to the top of the tree in the first place. For this question I will give you an answer: MAGIC!

Now where was I? Oh yes, many moons, atop a tree, so lonely! Well, she did have servants who climbed the tree every day to bring her tea and sandwiches, so she wasn’t really alone. To be honest she got to see many people as the tree was located next to the castle entrance and everyone traveling to and from the castle had to pass by it. They would shout jolly hellos to her and sometimes laugh because what kind of crazy princess is afraid of castles anyway?

The king and queen of the castle begged their daughter to see sense and come down from the tree, but she swore never to descend unless a young prince proved his love to her by slaying the dragon in the nearby town. Many princes would come by and gaze up at her (she was actually quite attractive).

“Why doth thou live atop yon tree?” the princes would ask.

“I await my true love,” she would answer. “And also I have a strange fear of castles!”

Many princes would shout, “thou art crazed!” and leave her to her tree at this point, but some became enamored by her beauty and would say, “Cometh down from yon tree, for thou true love be me!”

“Why do you talk so funny?” the princess would ask.

“I’m really not sure,” they would answer. “But what can I do to win your love?”

“Slay the dragon and bring me his head!” she would tell them.

The princes would go home at this point because the dragon’s teeth and claws were oh so sharp. Also, he had very hot breath that smelled much like rotting meat. Finally, he was actually a pretty nice guy and they would just feel bad about killing him.

The princess feared she would never find true love. Then one morning she awoke and found herself lying upon the ground!

“How did I get here?” she asked no one in particular.

No one in particular remained silent and she never learned how she got to the ground. But fear not, I will tell you! The family of squirrels who also inhabited her tree removed her in the night, for her smell was quite ferocious! Baths are not readily available at the tops of trees after all!

Alas this tale has now reached its conclusion. What’s that? What about the princess and her lack of true love? Well come on now, who would really want to spend the rest of their lives with someone who was afraid of castles and splinters?