Love Before It Is Lost

Loss is painful, be it the loss of a loved one, a friend moving away, or the breakup of a relationship.  There is a saying, "time heals all wounds."  This holds true for most physical wounds, but I feel it's not so for the pain of loss.  That pain is soul wrenching.  The wounds are invisible, but their intensity burns all the more for it.  I don't believe time can every truly heal these wounds.  That isn't to say time does not make them more bearable, however.  Time will never cover such an injury with the scars of healing, but can only provide us with the strength and courage to continue our lives. 

I know firsthand the beaten and broken state loss can leave someone in.  The strength to pick oneself up from such a blow seems at first, unobtainable.  Given time, this strength can be found with determination.  For some it may take longer than others, but no matter what, I believe all of us have it within ourselves to rise to such challenges. 

Loss is a powerful tool.  Many times words of advice, suggestions, and even warnings fall on deaf ears until the horrible jolt of losing something precious wakes us up.  It is one of the most difficult things in this world to accept, but sometimes the only thing significant enough to make us open our eyes and change for the better is that incredible loss.

I challenge everyone to take a minute to examine their own lives.  Look at the things you have; look at the people around you.  What aspects of y our life, if lost, would break you?  What kind of loss is capable of stopping you in your tracks and bringing you to your knees?

While I still believe experiencing loss is the only true teacher and the only thing that can really make people appreciate the things they have and the people in their lives, I do hope that we can all take a moment to acknowledge the beautiful things around us.  Call friends and tell them what they mean to you.  Thank parents, grandparents, teachers, and other role models for the guidance, care, and knowledge they have provided you.  Pet your dog or cat.  Hold your lover and love her or him like you never have before.

Confidence

Well, I got the job at Lowe's!  I actually went back in for another interview on Friday and they offered me the position.  I've been doing a lot of thinking as to why they picked me over all those other people.  I don't have extensive experience in that line of work, so I'm fairly certain that isn't the reason.  My education over-qualifies me for the position, which they actually commented on.  I was aware of this, but they were the only ones who I'd heard back from in weeks.  It's been my experience that companies are hesitant to hire individuals who are "over-qualified" for a job.  I think that's a ridiculous phrase by the way, "over-qualified".  If I was running a business, I would want the most qualified people available working for me.  Anyway, I kept trying to figure out what made them give me a second look and I am almost completely convinced it was simply my attitude and the energy I was projecting that day.

As you could probably tell from my post Thursday, I was in a very good mood.  I woke up in that mood.  In the past, on the day of an interview, I had been a nervous wreck, but that day I was perfectly calm.  I didn't walk in with the mentality of desperately needing the job.  If I got the job, great, but if not, I knew something else would eventually come along.  Don't misunderstand, I certainly answered the interview questions to the best of my ability, but I did it while projecting an energy of, "you need me, and if you don't see that, it is your loss".

I believe that this way of thinking is the key to success in all life situations.  Neediness is not attractive.  However, there is a careful line you have to walk between arrogance and confidence.  Nobody wants to be around someone who is arrogant, but a truly confident person will attract people like moths to a flame.

Smile

I had an interview at Lowe's today.  Sure, not the most glamorous job, but they are the ones who called me back, which is more than the truckload of other companies I have applied to has done.  I interviewed with two separate people, and then had to take a drug test.  I was then informed that I would find out about the job in one to three weeks.  Why such a long time?  Well, quite possibly because for the two open positions, they have 150 applications to sort through.  So I am up against at least 149 other people for this job.  This is the problem job seekers are facing everywhere right now.  My odds are not good.

You might think I would be having a bad day because of that, but in fact, I feel just the opposite.  Today is an amazing day and I feel great.  Why?  I feel great because I woke up this morning.  It is a great day because I got out of bed.  The entire world is waiting for me, and I am alive to experience it.  So maybe I won't get this job, but you know what?  That just means there is something even better for me waiting out there.  Heck, maybe my writing thing will start to pay off!

So what did I do on this rainy, yet perfect day?  After my interview I went running.  Since I am a new runner I have been training up by running for a set amount of time, then walking, then running again, and so on for about 30 minutes.  Not even two weeks ago my run/walk ratio was 60seconds/90seconds.  Today my ratio was 4minutes/2minutes.  In less than two weeks I quadrupled my run time and am running for twice as long as I walk.  Let me tell you, it feels damn good.

Everyone becomes conditioned to feel certain emotions, and those emotions soon become habit.  For a long time my habitual emotion was that of sadness, pessimism, and desperation.  I am retraining my emotions, so that my first response is not to focus on the negative, but to look on the bright side, to feel good, and to be happy.  I looked at myself in the mirror today and smiled.  Nobody else was anywhere around, nothing funny had happened, but I smiled, because I am me.  I dare you to find a better reason to be alive.

Look there, it's a post!

I'm running empty on ideas for today's blog, so I think I'm just going to start typing and see what kind of ramblings I can spew out.

"How are you?" is the first thing everyone asks when striking up a conversation with another person.  The look on someone's face when met with anything other than "fine, how are you?" is quite entertaining to me.  It's so funny to realize that the majority of people in this world could not care less about how you really are, but ask the question anyway because society has brainwashed them into thinking this is how all conversations should go.  The average person is probably on autopilot during the first few minutes of any conversation, as the questions and responses are always scripted.  It's no wonder miscommunication is so commonly a cause of stress in relationships and life in general.  We are so trained as to the polite way to hold a conversation, we don't even need to be mentally present.  Perhaps we should all try and muster up some genuine curiosity in the other person's well-being when having a discussion.

It drives me absolutely crazy when someone says "I could care less" when he really means "I couldn't care less".  Just stop and think about the words you are saying for a second.  "I could care less" means that there is indeed more room for less caring!  You are not yet at the absolute point of indifference.  Perhaps this is, in fact, the stance you are attempting to portray, but I doubt it.  I am fairly certain the phrase you seek is, "could NOT care less", meaning the subject in question holds no interest for you.

I would like to make sure everyone is aware of what the presence if an apostrophe (') signifies.  Look at words that have an apostrophe, such as "they're" or "it's".  That crazy little symbol hovering up there means that one or more letters are missing (with the exception of possessiveness, which should be Googled if you don't understand).  The apostrophe's job is to save that hole so that one day those letters will have a nice warm home to return to.  The apostrophe's job is thankless!  All day long it sits there, knowing that one day the letters may return and the apostrophe will be homeless and unemployed.  Show some respect for the poor little apostrophe.  Don't stuff it in places where it doesn't belong.  If you write "It's face is missing because of the acid," you have placed that poor apostrophe in a horrible situation.  It shows up to work on Monday and the letters around it begin shouting and demanding to know what it thinks it is doing there!  No letters are missing, you idiotic apostrophe!  You can't fit here!  Go back to where you came from!  You have just ruined the life of that poor little apostrophe.  If you've been paying attention, you will notice I employed several apostrophes in this paragraph.  Let me tell you, it feels good knowing I'm giving their lives some meaning.  Now let's say you slept through English, and you write, "Their coming over for dinner".  That's WRONG.  You don't mean "their", you mean "they're".  Now that poor apostrophe is shivering outside as he stares in at your warm little ignorant sentence.  Don't you feel bad?  Well you should!  Learn to write the language you speak!

Sawyer's Day

Wow, the peanut butter on this rubber bone is amazing.  It's on every corner!  This is the best thing ever!  I can't lick fast enough.  Oh, there is even some on the inside!  Getting that out will be a super fun game.

What a shame, all the peanut butter is gone now.  Wait a second, where are the humans?  They were right here just a second ago.  The tall one brought me this peanut butter bone.  I can't hear them or smell them.  This is not good.  I'd better whine to let them know I'm here.  Maybe they will realize they forgot me and come running. 

Well the whining hasn't worked.  I guess I should explore some.  This is a fairly big room.  There is plenty of space for me to move around.  There is probably more space where the humans are though.  Oh look, there are all my toys and my bed.  Those things could be entertaining but I'd better figure out where the humans are first.  I am sure they are having more fun than I could ever have here with all my toys.  Let's see, I seem to remember entering this room from over here.  There seems to be some sort of gate blocking my path now.  I'd better push on it to try and open it.  No good, it's not letting me through.  Well, I'm pretty sure the humans will be mad at me for this, but I really need to get out of here so I can see what exciting and amazing things they are doing.  Time to chew on the gate!  Yuck, this wood doesn't taste so good, but I'd better keep chewing anyway. 

I've gotten some very large chunks out of the bottom of the gate but I still can't get through.  I think it's time to chew on the upper part.  This isn't working much better.  I'd better claw at this carpet under the gate; perhaps I can tunnel through.  That's not working either!  I'd better lick the carpet under the gate so it gets good and wet.  Maybe that will allow me to escape!  Wait!  What the blazes is that next to me?  It's a chair!  I bet it tastes great!  I'd better chew that now.  I don't know why, but it seems like my best course of action.  Yummy, this is one heck of a tasty chair.  I wonder why nobody else has eaten it yet?

Those humans are still gone.  I really have to pee.  I'm going to hold it though, because I know I'm supposed to go outside.  What's that sound?  The door is opening!  The humans are home!  I'd better whine super loud so they can find me again!  The gate is opening.  Here comes the tall one!  Uh-oh, he looks upset.  I bet he wanted to eat that chair.  Oh gosh, I should have left it for him.  To make it up to him I'd better go ahead and pee all over the carpet so he won't have to take me out.  I know I've held it all day, but the best option is definitely to go now.  Wow, he looks angry!

Exercise!

I was thankfully blessed with a metabolism that allows me to eat almost anything without gaining a pound.  However, just because I'm thin doesn't mean I'm necessarily healthy or physically fit.  A little over a week ago I decided it was time for some life changes.  One of these changes, or goals rather, was to get myself in shape.  Now that I think about it, that is a very weird statement.  What shape?  Certainly not a circle. A trapezoid perhaps?  Maybe I'll aim to become a triangle.  Sorry, what was I saying?  Oh yes, it was exercise time!

The first thing I decided to do was start each day with some push-ups and sit-ups.  That was easy enough, but I needed to do something more.  I soon decided I would like to take up running.  There has always been a part of me that had some desire to be a runner.  In high school I ALMOST joined the cross country team, but I eventually decided I didn't want to put in the time and effort that would require.  Now, I am ready to give running its fair shot.  I have been out running every morning for over a week, with the exception of an extremely rainy day.  It was super hard to start with, of course, but I can already see a huge improvement in myself.  It feels great to accomplish something like this.  Every morning I push myself to the limit and am able to look back when I'm done, and feel proud.  I am bettering myself both physically and mentally, as I gain strength and the realization that I am capable of this.  Exercise is an amazing way to feel better about yourself, and I highly recommend that anyone physically able takes up running.

An area I know I have always been weak in is flexibility.  I have been doing stretches before and after running of course, but I wanted to take it a step further.  Today I started yoga.  Anyone who thinks yoga isn't a real workout has obviously never done it, or at least not done it properly.  Yoga involves placing your body in seemingly simple positions, and then holding it there.  After doing this for a while you would be surprised how hard it is to even keep your arms pointed straight up above your head.  I actually started the P90X version, YogaX, today.  Trust me, the workout was nothing to sneeze at.  To be honest, I know I should have probably started at a more basic level than P90X, but the intense workout was a pretty big rush.  I wasn't able to finish the entire video (over an hour and a half), but I hope to soon work myself up to that point. 

I have never really gotten enough exercise in my life, and now that I finally am, it feels great.  My appetite is better, I have more energy, and I feel good about myself.  I'm definitely sore, but it's a good kind of sore.  I can feel my aches and pains and be happy, knowing how hard I'm working to improve myself.

Book Recommendations Day 4: Miscellaneous

Today will be my final book recommendations post, and I thought I would suggest some books from several different authors instead of focusing on just one.  I'm going to try and list a wide variety of genres as well, so hopefully everyone can find something they might enjoy.  Let's get started!

If you've never heard of the late Douglas Adams, shame on you!  Adams is best known for his science fiction comedy series, kicking off with The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.  There has been a television show, a computer game, comic books, and even a movie based on this story.  I have seen both the television series and the movie, and am of course convinced that the book is still the best way to enjoy Hitchhiker's Guide.  The series follows Arthur Dent and his colorful companions on their adventures through the galaxy, following the destruction of Earth.  The link above is actually to an omnibus edition that includes the entire series (which I wish I owned), but you can also buy the books individually.  If you're looking for a good laugh, you can't go wrong with this one.

My next recommendation may seem daunting to some, shall we say, "inexperienced" readers.  Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead follows the story of an architect, Howard Roark, as he struggles to express his creativity during a time when originality and alterations from the norm are frowned upon and shunned.  The novel also contains elements from Rand's own philosophy, Objectivism.  This is not an easy read by any means, but the compelling story and philosophical elements could quite possibly give you a new outlook on life.  Next on my own personal reading list is Atlas Shrugged, considered to be Rand's crowning work.  I am looking forward to the read!

Battle Royale by Koushun Takami is quite a thrill ride.  If you are the squeamish type, you may want to just skip over this now.  Battle Royale is the story of a class of junior high school students that are ripped from their normal lives and sent to a deserted island where they are forced to kill each other until only one remains.  The novel  explores the varied reactions of the students as they come to the realization that there will be no escape if they don't play the game.

My final recommendation is The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.  There is a movie, which admittedly captured the story fairly well, but if you have not yet seen it, please read the book first.  Henry DeTamble has a unique condition that causes him to involuntarily travel through time.  He cannot control whether he goes into the past or future any more than he can control when it happens.  The novel is actually a love story between Henry and Clare Abshire.  Clare first meets an adult version of time traveling Henry during her childhood.  This is the most touching story of love and commitment I have ever experienced and I'm not embarrassed to say, it brought me to tears.  Even if you don't normally go for love stories, you should check this one out.

I hope I've been able to provide some decent reading recommendations this week.  It's been pretty fun for me to talk about my favorite authors.  I think I may have another week in the future where I recommend some of my favorite comics, so if you're into that, keep an eye out for it!